Some of the warbloggers take umbrage -- in fact, they take all the umbrage -- to the term chickenhawk. Just because they were too young to serve in the last few wars, or declined to volunteer for the the ones they could have served in, is no reason to suggest that they shouldn't be writing furiously about somebody else's friends and family getting shot at.
Pussies.
Various sources, including the Mercury News, report:
U.S. TELLING THOUSANDS THEY MAY HAVE TO SERVE AN EXTRA YEAR
Mercury News Wire ServicesWASHINGTON - The Defense Department is notifying more than 14,000 reservists that they may be required to extend their duty, to serve up to two years instead of one, in a move seen as a contingency for possible action against Iraq.
The action, the most extensive since the Vietnam War, affects about 4,800 Air Force reservists and about 9,200 members of the Air National Guard, said Commander Randy Sandoz, a Defense Department official.
[. . .] The call-ups are under what the military calls a ``partial mobilization,'' which was ordered by President Bush after the Sept. 11 attacks. During this, the president can activate up to 1 million reservists and Guard members to serve up to two years.
The last partial mobilization took place during the Persian Gulf War, but few, if any, served more than a year because the war ended so quickly, officials said. The Vietnam War had many reservists serving full two-year terms.
Now, since I got called up during Persian Gulf War I, I can say whatever the fuck I want. Convenient, no?
I was a student at the time, not unlike Ellen Feiss, only of legal age, you sick perverts. So I was actually making more money during the time I was in.
Lotta guys I was over there with were only in the Reserves so they'd have a full 20 years of service, and could retire with full benefits. These were older guys, with real careers and families. Some of 'em ran their own businesses, like our medic, and if you're thinking they were making anywhere near as much running around in the sandbox you haven't noticed what military pay is. People do not live on post because it's a shorter walk to muster; they do so because even with a housing allowance, they can't afford to live among civilians.
Yeah, there are laws requiring creditors to not give you too much shit because you've taken a huge pay cut, and employers (for those who weren't self-employed) were required to take you back if you lived. That still meant for a lot of hardship.
At this point, the chickenhawks would chime in about how these people knew the risks when they signed up. Um, no. Back then, at least, our enemy was the USSR (remember them?), and conventional wisdom was that in the event of a war, we'd all be fucked. You wouldn't have to worry about your construction business or medical practice idling for several months, because we were all going to be killed in a nuclear strike. Paradoxically, a larger enemy meant it was safer to be in the Reserves.
The other funny thing, for expansive definitions of funny, is that some guys had their contracts expire during the conflict. Oddly, they felt little compulsion to re-up. Equally oddly, the military basically said, "Sorry, can't afford to lose you. You're staying."
This really had a positive effect on morale.
They did let this one guy go home, after his house in rural [insert Southern state here] burned to the ground because the [volunteer] fire department had a long-ass drive to the place. That was sweet of them, I think.
Oh, and the guy who had a life-threatening allergic reaction to the perfectly safe drugs we were given. They let him go, too. So it wasn't all gloom and doom.
I can almost accept the warbloggers treating The Enemy as faceless and expendable -- remember how they were whining about not wanting to hear more about Afghan civilian casualties? -- but you'd think they'd treat our forces like human beings. And you'd be wrong.
I'm mostly talking enlisted, though. We were quite aware we ain't count for shit, but from the brass that was expected. These warblogger fucks, though. . . damn. How much you want to bet they're the ones who criticize the left for not supporting our troops or tying enough yellow ribbons around old oak trees?
Fuck the random lottery draft shit. They need to just fire up Google, see who's seriously enthused about invading other folks, and specifically get them to do it. I expect you'd see a rash of foot injuries.
And again I say: Pussies.
I said not to ask. . . turns out the unit I did my drills with was not, in fact, the unit I was actually in. So when NMCB 24 out of Redstone Arsenal, Alabama got the call, so did I in *cough* Chicago, Illinois. If I'd told 'em I lived in Shampoo-Banana, I'd have had to do drills with some group in Danville or something. Oddly, they didn't blink when I submitted the paperwork for education benefits because I was enrolled at UIUC. Internal communication not their strong point. Which is how they once gave me tickets for a flight to San Diego out of Midway that didn't even exist anymore, then told me they'd get me on a flight out of O'Hare (when I called from Midway to let them know). You ever drive from Midway to O'Hare? During Summer Road Construction season? Knowing that if you missed the flight, you'd be declared AWOL?
Ah, the military. They had the audacity to ask me why I didn't want to re-up.
Update: See, same message, but a picture is worth a thousand words. I am so surplus to requirements around here. . .
"Fuck the random lottery draft shit. They need to just fire up Google, so who's seriously enthused about invading other folks, and specifically get them to do it. I expect you'd see a rash of foot injuries."
This is like the best idea *ever*.
That'd be so fun! They'd have to deliver the notices the same way Publisher's Clearing House announces winners, though (cameras, surpise door knocks, whole bit)... So we could all see the looks on their faces when the smiley guy says "Hey Mr. warblogger! You're going to IRAQ!" (cue confetti and champagne corks)
Jake, what a fabulous idea. I think we have a great plan going here.
peace 'n' love 'n' all that, i'd rather not send anybody, but if i had to send somebody i'd want to send somebody who i thought could hit the side of a barn with an rpg or whatever. and from experience i observe a lot of these card-carrying-conservative right-to-bear-arms types couldn't compete with a kid punching out playing cards at the carnival. i'm sure their glocks are very clean and shiny though. i keep reading in the news about all these hospitals and schools and shit we keep blowing up--do you think that's a technology thing or is it a training thing?
seriously, i think we should send the wwf smackdown guys. i think the various branches of the military should change their uniform to that of the mexican wrestling champion. capes, mask, and all. truth in advertising: don't mess with us because we're f***in' freaks. because we're certainly not the good guys.
i was against desert storm but i want you to know i appreciate the fact that you went in my place. and i'm sorry as hell you had to go through that. thanks for speaking out.
I wonder if the warbloggers thought actual *people* fought in the Gulf War. Wasn't it all space-age laser-targeted star-wars shit? All the American socldiers were safe as houses somewhere in, like, Italy, yeah? Just programming computers and pressing buttons? That's what CNN said, anyway.
Oh, I guess we sent George Clooney and Marky Mark. (I think we can all agree, though, that they're relatively expendable).
I thought a chickenhawk was what Foghorn Leghorn was always trying to stop?
That was an ornery little bugger too.
I think this internet thing has finally found its niche. Its the 'new' draft.
So if I write about my anti-war sentiments on my site that's probably proof I'm a conscientious objector right?
And that I've been attracted to drag queens before? That probably shoots that whole don't ask don't tell thing out of the water right? I mean I don't know where I am on the sexuality dial on like a daily basis and I just gotta tell somebody, anybody, everybody scream.
Chickenhawks had (has?) an entirely different meaning on the sleazy streets of San Francisco.
Great post.
Jessica, see the title. And thanks.
Jason, last time around the military got all accepting and tolerant of the gay & lesbian contingent. Until the war was over. Then they started kicking them out again. But nice try.
Was it Fibber McGee & Molly that Senator Claghorn was on? And is that too obscure again?
Jake, your suggestion is just too cool. I'd go just to toss confetti and take a few photos. Well, and scam some free champagne, but any time's the right time to get boozed up.
Jim, thanks, but it wasn't my idea to go. And some of the young'uns would stage mini-protests by chanting, "Ho-Ho-Ho Chi Minh, Viet Cong are gonna win!" at random moments, for no particular reason. Seemed to piss off the older guys.
I didn't do that, of course. Certainly didn't start any cheers. Nope.
how old are you, man? Fibber McGee and Molly?
If Mayor Latrivia, I say, Mayor LaTrivia stops by you tell him we don't like arguin' down here below the mason-dixon line. Everyone knows that God's right, son, and there's no discussion about it. Look at the good book boy, I say, the good book.
I too have had this horrible realization about the double entendre of this term. Sorry. I just had to.
I had supported the colonies in the Revolutionary War and the North in the Civil War but I never served so let me take that support back.
I also support lawyers for the accused but yet I'm no lawyer and couldn't do the work myself.
Come to think of it, vaccinations seem to make sense but sadly I'm no doctor either nor own a pharm company.
Damn, all those things seemed like such good ideas until I put on my Aaron glasses.
You're highly educated Aaron, right? How about telling us which specific and obvious logical mistakes you're making in this post?
The real question is this, are you buying this stuff yourself or are you just selling it? I can't quite figure that out.
"Pussies"? My god, my nuts just jumped into my body cavity and I feel like I've been violated. You are far too mean. Stop. Please.
Blow Hard, you're too late. Kim du Toit is already filling the "dumb-ass cracka of the day" quota, after Bill Quick took care of it on Monday. Come back tomorrow.
Better yet, don't.
Look, I know Blow Hard isn't worth responding to, but really. Talk about crap analogies. Here are some more accurate ones:
"I support every other kid getting immunised, to eradicate those diseases. But I'm not going to get MY kid immunised, just in case he has a catastrophic allergic reaction. He'll be fine because everyone else is immunised and so there's noone to catch the disease from."
"I support the urban consolidation project that's going to raze a bunch of people's homes in another suburb, but I made sure the project didn't affect my suburb."
The point is not the lack of military expertise -- not every GI private would have enough training in strategy to make sensible policy and strategic decisions. The point is that people who had the opportunity to serve, but didn't, are too willing to send other people to do what they weren't willing to do. If you can't see the difference between these two concepts, I can only assume you lack either the wit or the honesty to see it.
Does that make me a smart-ass cracka, by the way? Laura can attest to my whiteness.
Freetles, I don't believe a word of it. John Hawkins of RightWingNews said it was all angry black guys here, so that's clearly what you are.
And Toren Smith popped up earlier today, so Blow Hard gets pushed to Thursday. You snooze, you lose, Chuck.
Freetles...thanks for picking up the slack. I was going to write something similar last night and then was reminded that I'm on vacation from trying to indoctrinate the stupid.
Good on ya.
Freetles, my analogies fit perfectly. Yours couldn't be bigger stretches.
Arguments should be judged on the merits not by whatever ad hominem shit you feel like throwing together that day. Therefore it makes zero sense to keep coming up with personal attacks on people who disagree with you like calling people chickenhawks who support war but aren't in the military.
If this wasn't the case, you'd realize that the anti-war arguments could only be made by actively serving members of the military as well. Yet, it seems like you all still feel qualified to offer your opinions. Why doesn't that work both ways again?
You realize this in general I assume. The reason it eludes you in this particular is pure idealogical willpower I'm guessing.
Aaron, you should put up a sign up saying when the "dumb ass cracka quota" has been reached.
By the way, I really prefer cracka ass cracka. It sounds better.
What, you mean like the companies that hire one black person, prominently feature him or her in their web site and brochures, and make no effort to recruit another?
Something like that?
You're slated for Thursday. I suggest you post early. There seems to be a lot of competition for slots these days.
Exactly, Aaron. Of course you don't even need one actual dumb ass cracka onboard to fill the quota. All you need to do is get us all together in a community outreach event, give us some free food and take our pictures. Warbloggers will come out for free hotdogs and open mike diatribes against the left, I'm positive. Some of us will even bring kids, everyone likes pictures of cute cracka babies.
Then you can plaster our smiling mugs all over your site and get that special inclusionary vibe on the cheap.
Ok, you must be on the other side of the International Date Line, because you keep talking loud.
And ain't sayin' nothing.
The site's readership is already a hell of a lot more inclusionary than any warblog I've happened across. They have to settle for Darmon Thornton and O-Dub. Which I suppose, combined, is like .002% of a black person, if you squint a little.
"Does that make me a smart-ass cracka, by the way? Laura can attest to my whiteness."
Can I? Haave we met and I didn't know it?
Fine, I'll fuck off.
1. Sycophants count as diversity.
2. People who disagree get the dumb cracka routine.
3. People who disagree finally fuck off.
Good system, should work well to keep out the wrong element.
Hey, don't forget your crown of thorns!
And could you cross your legs? We've only got three nails.
Frickin' gypsies.
Blow hard:
How nice of you to assume you know what I think about any proposed war, just because I post here. (I also used to post on LGF, so I suggest you also check there to bone up on what I really think.) Of course arguments should be based on merits, but this doesn't mean only serving military personnel have the right to speak of war, or anti-war. Former personnel could do so with some expertise, as could people who for whatever reason didn't serve or couldn't serve (too short, too gay, no war on, whatever) but who have made an effort to educate themselves about strategic and military issues. However, people who had an opportunity to serve but weaselled their way out of it are suspect, as being too willing now to send other people to do something they weren't themselves willing to do when it was their time to do it. In my country we call that "gutless".
Laura:
Yes, you have met me, but I'm relying on your discretion to use your power for good, not evil. (Aussie dyke, Lexington, March 2000....) There aren't many people who can link this pseudonym, my other pseudonym, and my real name. I'm relying on you not to blurt anything out (-:
Ha, Freetles! Well it is indeed a small world. I mean, a SERIOUSLY-hella small world. I'm meeting up with my friend who was with me that night - I'll say hey to her for you.
Say Blow Hard, you're missin' out, pal. We're disagreeing in another thread right now, whee!
Looks like the problem is with you.
Hey! Aaron! Do I get to be the Token Angry Self-Righteous Politically Incorrect Dissenter, now?
Worse, I'm afraid you're The Voice of Reason. This means pointing out when I'm being an ass.
Something of a full-time position, and the pay is nonexistant. No wonder they keep quiting.
Blow Hard wouldn't be interested in our disagreement. It's too civil.
Laura,
Yeah, tell her I said hi. It's not such a small world really -- remember that email? How do you think I found YOUR blog? Through this one. Decided to stick around.
Cheers,
freetles
Wow ! What a site ! we gets red-neckin crackas bros, hard-rock queen fans, awol yippies, hochi minh veterans against war, ballad of a thin man and anti-googlemongers in one location ! and bein a dislocated lexington (ky ?)-an myself, i think i died and went to gooberhead heaven. Hey, can we form a good-old fashioned united front (or back) ? and since the g.w. gooberheads are all oil addict-users and as we know don't know how to fight, why don't WE go to the middle east, take a humongous supply of lsd with us (everyone knows they don't check the gi dufflebags), put it in their water supply, and fight this oil thing out in our minds ? if we're still feelin' aggressive when everyone's comin' down, we can bring over video games (as in the mall) and really duke it out. come on, gang, let's put the thinkin' caps on the few brain cells we have left; there's enough backs (as in -wards and asses) runnin' the show), it's time for the "front" to step forward. Where's baby huey and dear abbie when we really need them ???
Peace and Love,
Mr. Gooberhead
p.s.- while i renounced and disassociated from my gooberhead past, as we all know, once an addict, always an addict.
Um. Nice try there pal but an attempted sarcastic rebuttal (of Aaron's entire site apparently) is a little like an attempted mustache - wait until you're capable or deal with the harsh consequences of social ostracism. Maybe you should wait until you've processed a little of that moonshine before you try again.Or not.
The Volunteer Welcoming Committee
The cynic in me thinks most of these hawks with a keyboard, connection to the net and no military experience have already followed the lead of FOX News and believe that their current typing is part of the war effort.
Goneaway, be nice. I'm sure that's just the result of too much LDS at Berzerkly. Heck, he's probably running a *BSD. . .
You're the only one groaning at that. No one else knows what the fuck I'm typing about.
Micah. . . you're not improving my mood. Facts tend to do that. Especially facts about them folks.
Hmm, that's funny, mr. gooberhead wasn't slamming the site or attempting a "sarcastic rebuttal" - simply joining in on the conversation and slamming the chickenhawks and warbloggers. And besides, how do you know what "harsh consequences" moi has or hasn't dealt with ? maybe you ought to try some of our "moonshine" and lighten up. i'm on your side, bro.
ex-gooberhead
Sorry. We get a bad element in here sometimes. Should have realized you weren't one of them. They generally start off telling me how racist I am. Welcome aboard, avoid the vegan oatmeal cookies. The last batch was. . . an educational experience about using the cheap soft tofu instead of the good stuff.
Freeze the cheap soft tofu before you use it. By some voodoo that I don't entirely understand tofu permanently firms up after it's frozen.