I've been told, again, that I have an "attitude."
Do white people ever tell other white people that they have an "attitude", or is this something they pick up in their special "How to avoid baseless allegations of racism" courses, and only use against the lesser races?
Oddly, she seemed surprised by my predictable response of "Fuck you, bitch." And started to launch into the you-can't-talk-to-me-like-that speech.
I walked away during the first sentence.
So not needing this shit right now.
Nah, we (or rather, I) tend to tell somone they have an attitude problem no matter what the color of their skin happens to be. But it's kind of like paranoia (just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people aren't after you). Just because you have an attitude doesn't mean there's not a reason. Kinda thing.
Sorry. Must go put "ritz" sign back on.
Yeah, telling someone they "have an attitude" spans all races and creeds.
If race/racism is the reason someone "has an attitude"... Well, there ya go...
Oh, yeah, sure whites tell other whites they have attitudes . . . bosses say it to employees, fathers in their forties say it to adolescent offspring . . .the powerful say it to the subordinate, to attempt to haul them into line by degrading them.
But just because whites use it between themselves doesn't mean it isn't loaded with specialized power-and-dominance meanings when it's used to attempt to dominate someone of another race. Of course it's racism.
Once again, I vote major deity, Aaron. Then the indescriminate smitings of people who label others with 'attitudes' may begin.
Yawn
I get a lot more of the "why are you so angry?" fuckhead questions than the "you've got an attitude" sort of thing. It's all context. People (I won't expand on who) try to lessen the severity of given situation and their part in it by claiming we're the ones with the problem. We're the irrational ones, not able to restrain ourselves and behave properly like civilized humans. (Um, humans being a synonym for...well, you know.)
Now if I was being a jackass to "the help" and someone said I had an attitude, sure, I would have to take a moment during brunch with friends on the yacht to consider the possibility. But if I were merely expressing my disgust at a condescending compliment such as, "Why, you barely have an accent!" and replied, "What accent, motherfucker?" then well, I don't believe I have to apologize for or explain my so called anger.
More white people should be telling other white people that they've got a serious attitude or that they aren't angry enough about (or they're sleepwalking right through) certain issues.
Anyhoo - I'm off to rock Ladyfest DC.
Don't think it's possible to convey the air of condescension she said it with using the written word. Adults do not normally speak to other adults in that way, in public at least.
And given that I'd just helped her dumb ass, it really didn't seem appropriate.
Perhaps if I hadn't mentioned that she might consider reading the manual. . .
I'll have a look for the written warning I got back at MDMS. High-larious stuff. The HR person I showed it to at a different company said, "This basically translates to, `Employee is Black.'"
Have fun at Ladyfest, Yoon.
I can't imagine ANY adult saying that to another adult. I even hate myself when I say it to my 5 year old child (and, I'm not proud to admit, I have).
Fuck yeah, it's racist. Any white person with half a brain cell would be aware of the social constructs behind using such a patronizing term to a person of color.
And Yoon, I REALLY loved your words about anger. It happens with feminists all of the time. "Why are you so angry?" "Do you hate men?"
Questions to which the only response is "Only fuckers like you who seek to deprive me of any emotion that doesn't allow you to get into my pants."
Aaron...I'd like to link this post, too...if you don't mind. I can think of many many many people who need to freaking hear this, but a couple of bloggers in particular.
If you didn't have an attitude, I wouldn't be reading you.
Um I very frequently have an attitude and I very frequently point out to other people when they are having an attitude. I don't think attitude issues are limited to race.
Michelle, think it's the context of the comment that got to me. It wasn't like I'd just mentioned to the woman that she noticeably speaks more slowly to me than to other people. . . oh, did I just say that out loud?
George, I have no idea what you're talking about. I have a Zenlike calm, and wear it like a shabby trenchcoat. Wait, no, that is me trenchcoat. Never mind.
drublood, go for it. Think the lyrics to "Not a Pretty Girl" are going to show up on the front page soon. . .
have I mentioned I love dru? She's crazy.
and you do have an attitude. I don't know why you're so damn angry but I keep coming back. Know why?
You speak so well.
Jason, it's a pretty simple formula for pissing me off.
1) Make bigoted comment
2) React with shock when someone suggests that you've just made a bigoted comment
It's why I've been avoiding the warblogs lately. It's like they were designed specifically to annoy me.
That's leaving out the obvious trolling, of course. That's just boring.
I'm told I have an attitude almost everyday... then again, I'm a bastard.
But not as much as this bitter asshole:
www.tomzenk.com
Ya know, pal, if you hadn't accidentally forwarded that email where we were talking about checking out Lori's tits to the entire department. . .
Never mind.
The ugly alternate situation is that another white person tries to whisper some comment to me about "those people." The baffled stares I get when I give the obvious "Fuck You" are not amusing. "Well, I was just saying...," he continues and I walk away. Later a managerial type tells me that I need to stop snapping at people and giving them attitude.
Another co-worker was once genuinely confused as to why people of color would not want to visit Utah and later asked if Black people just hate Mormons. After I related this to the co-worker in question he laughed so hard and so long that I was actually a little worried about him passing out from oxygen deprivation. The first co-worker later tells me that he overheard the entire conversation and that I have a terrible attitude towards other white people. Then I shot him and now I have to go before they send more pigs.
I've been told I have an attitude problem all my life, by persons of all persuasions and stripes, and if I got any whiter, I'd be translucent. The sun glances at me from through a curtain and my skin weeps in pain and sprouts more freckles.
Now, that statement in combination with other indicative incidents (which I understand were present) would certainly put me in the mind that, yes, that was intended to be demeaning due to racism. It's not a bit of demeaning behavior that's racism-exclusive, however.
I responded to this yet again in my blog. Just so's ya know.
It wasnt the whole department... just my boss... and Crazy Don.... wait. That was my whole department! FUCK!
Well, Lori's tits were well worth it.
what's up aaron. uh, here's my take on this:
the accusation "you sure have an attitude" is by its very nature one of condescension. i experience it generally when someone wants to let me know they are superior to me--in other words, the CORRECT attitude on my part, that is not to have one, is essentially an attitude of SUBMISSION. therefore the three places this accusation has come from in my life have been (A)bosses or supervisors trying to "put me in my place" (B)my mother trying to make me feel bad for disagreeing with her (C)my spouse ditto ditto. however, among most of my friends, "attitude" is actually a compliment, as it usually is understood to reflect (1)a healthy disrespect for authority and (2)a healthy high opinion of one's self.
THEREFORE, because of the habitual fucked-up behavior programming whitey has received since early childhood, we condescend to people of color when we feel our position as benevolent dictator is being threatened. ("look at that woman demanding attention from the lazy store employees! she sure has attitude!" which translates as, "that U.N. [see your own excellent blog title] is going to piss off the store employees so much they'll start ignoring us too!" which equals "i have it good where i imagine myself to be, and this person is disturbing my idea of my place in line." shameful and true.)
i think your instincts on this issue are absolutely 100% correct. and, i salute your salient and forceful refutation of that kind of racist condescension.
and, though it's none of my damn biznis, i think you may have let her off too easy with the "fuck you bitch". she can just take that away as proof her idiotic delusions. it doesn't cut her to the core. it would be so much more choice if she could actually lose some sleep over the implications of HER attitude... but, it's easy to have 20-20 hindsight, and if i were in your shoes i probably would have reacted exactly the same way.