Think I could make a very short Perl script to spit them out, in fact.
Denny Wilson, who I would remind readers describes himself as "A Grouchy Old Cripple", comments on tomorrow's primary and tries getting a rise out of me by writing, among other things:
The simple answer to your question is be a Democrat for a day. I know how hard this will be. I'm actually getting the shakes contemplating voting for a Democrat myself. I mean, it will be as foreign to me as it would for Aaron to say sumpin' nice about a white person.
Uh-huh.
This is the same guy who can't even bring himself to use the c-word, which I do with reckless abandon. I did caution others against doing so, however, using a song from the South Park movie to do so.
So predictable, I know. Your pardon.
I'm so sorry
Mr. Cripple
But I just can't feel too bad for you right now.Because I'm feeling
So insanely super
That even the fact that you can't walk
Can't bring me down
Not that I know the extent of his disability, nor do I care. No less a figure than Tony Danza once told me, "How do you treat an asshole with a disability? Like an asshole!"
Bored now.
Psst, Aaron. You've said nice things about me. I guess it's time to confess that I'm white. Shh! Don't tell anyone.
See, you fall under wimmenandminorities, so it doesn't count.
At least you're not in the South. That would really confuse people.
So, how's the weather up there in, um, Vancouver?
Hee, hee. Vancouver. You know I hate love Canadians right?
With all their hockey hubbabaloo? What about Anne Murray?
What causes this dislike?
It's the incomprehensible foreign language stuff. Makes Americans nervous that someone might be saying something behind their back. Ergo, hostility toward Canada.
I mean really, it's all totally unnecessary. As a caller-in I once heard on an Indiana radio station rather memorably said, "Mah BIBLE is in English, and if English wuz good enough for JAYSUS KEERIST, then it should be good enough for ANYBODY."
Actually I love foreign languages and I speak Spanish. I'm working on French and Mandarin. But thanks for playing, we have some nice parting gifts.
There is something utterly, horribly wrong with my life when I have to write things like, "Ok kids, settle down, estrogen level is getting a bit high in here."
Unless you're just teasing, in which case, carry on.
I was. But I'm done now.
but I want some parting gifts.
Preferably in French Canadian packaging.
Rest assured that whenever I quote Hoosier rednecks on the linguistic diversity question, I am, indeed, kidding.
(another person learning Mandarin who is also a regular reader of this blog? I sense a convergence...)
Can I have a parting gift anyway?
Parting gifts consist of what the guy in the bookstore didn't take. Who wants a bookclub, collected edition of Octavia Butler's Xenogensis? Chuck D's book, Fight the Power? Robbins' A Short History of Linguistics?
Jason, that last one is the UK edition, so they spell things funny and use single quotes, just like the Canadians.
Do Canadians use single quotes or double?
Do I want to know why you kids are learning Mandarin? Tone languages make my head go 'splody.
Parting gifts available now. They aren't much but what do you expect?
http://www.michellejones.net/onapath
I'm with Aaron on the 'splody tip...
I know I'm askin for the big hurt, but....
HEY YOU! I'm Canadian damnit.
that said, I thought cunt was the c-word... am I out of the loop or what here?
i'm kind of confused so i suppose i'll just take my parting gifts and go home.
kd, do you really need a lifetime's supply of Rice-A-Roni? In fact, does anyone?
uppity-shinob, since you showed up late, you can't be Cowboy Guy either.
here's the first line of that script (after the shebang of course):
while (clue
Congrats Aaron. Not really a good slam, but you did do it without commenting on my ancestry or using profanity. And the South Park reference was kinda cute. And I admit it. I am an asshole. Being a cripple has nuttin' ta do with it. Now, see, that wasn't so hard was it.
Cheers
Mandarin's not so bad.
I understand Swahili's got implosive stops.
Now that would really make MY head go 'splody.