Mentioned this before in a comment. Guess I should make those inline for the archives, although that's gonna be a killer for dialup users. . .
Courtesy of the the American Hypertext Workshop at the University of Virginia, American Slave Narratives: An Online Anthology:
From 1936 to 1938, over 2,300 former slaves from across the American South were interviewed by writers and journalists under the aegis of the Works Progress Administration. These former slaves, most born in the last years of the slave regime or during the Civil War, provided first-hand accounts of their experiences on plantations, in cities, and on small farms. Their narratives remain a peerless resource for understanding the lives of America's four million slaves. What makes the WPA narratives so rich is that they capture the very voices of American slavery, revealing the texture of life as it was experienced and remembered. Each narrative taken alone offers a fragmentary, microcosmic representation of slave life. Read together, they offer a sweeping composite view of slavery in North America, allowing us to explore some of the most compelling themes of nineteenth-century slavery, including labor, resistance and flight, family life, relations with masters, and religious belief.
Although I'm certainly not going to suggest people read through all of the interviews before speaking on the oh-god-shut-up-Shut-Up-SHUT-UP reparations issue, anyone whose knowledge of American slavery comes entirely from repeated viewings of Roots, Gone with the Wind and Mandingo is requested to shut the fuck up.
Anyone making jokes about Jews building the pyramids is encouraged to emigrate to Egypt, obtain citizenship, and begin legal proceedings at their earliest convenience. Otherwise, as before, shut the fuck up.
Any Indians hoping the lot of us go the fuck back where we came from after cleaning up the mess, in contrast, may rant as they like.
Conveniently, this includes me.
Others claiming an "Indian princess" (what, were there kings, then?) as a multi-great grandmother should take the brown bag test before speaking up.
Are you darker than the bag?
Rant how you like.
Are you lighter than the bag?
If you're one of my sisters, this means you one of them peanut-butter-coloured Negroes, and I don't know how I got all the melanin either, but at least I got the good hair too, so nyaaaah.
Otherwise, rant with care.
If this talk of brown bags and good hair confuses you, this is probably a good indication that you should pretend you failed the test, and really really really need to shut the fuck up.
Management appreciates your compliance.
Update 8/19: See, this is what I'm saying.
George Kelly manages to say about the same thing, only with fewer words and a noted lack of profanity.
He also links to a sober consideration of the issue which includes a historical context, which I'd called for by throwing a tantrum instead of just, you know, looking for one.
I could be good. If I wanted. Possibly.
Update: I wasn't going to do the link/trackback thing, but figured I should give a context for the extreme bitchiness of this entry.
I should probably just shut the fuck up, but I wanted to thank you for the book suggestion first.
(beginning shut the fuck up sequence....NOW!)
I saw roots. Doesn't that have Geordi LaForge in it, without his visor?
The IFC has Baadasss Cinema this month (their name, not mine). Last night was Foxy Brown and Superfly. I think it was the night before, they showed Coffy and Shaft's Big Score. How can you go wrong when your nemesis is named "Bumpy"? (Since you don't have cable, you probably don't give a shit)
dru, not a problem. And you've earned enough Sista Points for all-around coolness to comment if you want. Or, keep saving them and when you have enough, you get your own show on either UPN (U People's Network) or WB (We Black).
CSCWebmaster, you could have earned some Brotha Points by explaining how Badass Cinema airing around the same time Austin Powers came out (instead of when Undercover Brother did) is yet more evidence of The Man keeping us down.
If you still can't construct complex and totally bogus racial conspiracy theories based on pure fantasy, my mission on this site has failed.
Too lazy to look up the Boondocks about sissyfied Geordi LaForge.
I'm glad I have permission to speak, because I forgot to mention that you left out the "my great grandparents emigrated from Italy, and they were a different race (against which countless atrocities were committed) back then." crowd.
I suppose now's the time to reference Whiteness of a Different Color: European Immigrants and the Alchemy of Race, by Yale prof Matthew Frye Jacobson -- worth reading as a guided tour through the mechanisms of assimilation, why and how it works, and how/why assimilation doesn't actually tend to breed pluralism (surprise fucking surprise).
And yeah, most of the book's about back in the day when we kikes weren't allowed to join the country clubs, but golly, with just a little tiny bit of imagination, you could almost imagine how racial and ethnic discrimination might still work that way sometimes...
Yes, my knowledge of slavery extends beyond Lavar Burton.
Last semester I took "Intercultural Communication" at my college. During the race relations section, we were in small discussion groups, and a black woman named Amy told about being a little kid and her grandmother holding a brown paper bag next to her arm to "check her." The girl said that the grandmother wanted her to stay out of the sun so that she didn't get any darker than the bag.
Well, a couple of the white girls in the group didn't believe her. They said something like, "Oh, I'm sure that wasn't it. She was probably just messing with you. Hee hee hee."
The look on Amy's face was PRICELESS. I mean, if looks could kill, those two stupid chicks would be eating dirt for eternity right now. Actually, I think if there were a prize for the Look That Communicates "You Are So Fucking Stupid" Best, Amy would have it in perpetuity.
I personally had not heard about the brown bag thing until then. Yes, yes I know, that means I should now shut the fuck up. Which I will now do.
Rachel, I'd only be mad if you hadn't shared that. Thanks.
Those girls didn't pass the class, did they?
The bag test is one of our Dirty Little Secrets (until bloody Tim Reid and Frank's Place, which better come out on DVD soon, or I'm starting a riot), so it's not surprising you hadn't heard about it.
Hanne, have heard of the book but haven't read it yet. Think the library is open Sundays. . .
Oliver, Jason is going to be along shortly to start chanting "WCW! WCW!"
I don't know enough about the reparations issue to contribute in comments but I passed along some fun links via email.
Speaking of WCW, Booker T's music really was one of their only high points for entrance themes. I mean the nWo porno guitar was okay but that Booker T theme...boo yah.
Is there some kind of social commentary in the fact that the most popular group of the 80's in the NWA/WCW was the 4 horseman (angry white southerners who basked in the glow of being exactly that -- and please note that I loved that shit.) and then in the 90's it was an organization interested in taking over everything by nefarious means (the nWo -- which I couldn't stand much, it was all about Raven's Flock, the luchadores and Benoit and Jericho if you asked me)? or is it just me thinking too much?
"...anyone whose knowledge of American slavery comes entirely from repeated viewings of Roots, Gone with the Wind and Mandingo is requested to shut the fuck up."
1. What Oliver said to the above.
2. Make me.
I liked Stone Cold's theme, but that may have had to do with Vince's Big Gulp at the sound of the glass shattering. Smark? No, mark.
You worry about over-analyzing professional sports entertainment on this site? Pass the Courvoisier. Or whatever you're having.
Darmon, you and Oliver want to start displaying this knowledge you claim to possess, feel free. Otherwise, the earlier recommendation stands.
Don't worry, I'll be doing a face turn later in the day. Then it turns out I was in cahoots with the Nation of Domination the whole time.
I just like saying that. "In cahoots."
Yeah, I was kinda surprised when she told us the brown bag check. All the white kids were (those of us that believed her, that is). I thought it was cool of her to tell us about it because she was kinda traumatized over it. She said she was 20 years old before she stopped checking her forearm regularly to make sure it wasn't getting too dark. And the real shitty part is that this girl, Amy, is drop-dead gorgeous and has no fucking idea that she is, partly because of the whole brown-bag thing.
Rachel, yep, welcome to the wonderful, colorstruck world of the black community, where hopelessly screwing up kids' heads about things they can't control is a way of life.
Actually, I take that back. You can control it.
Exhibit A: Michael Jackson
Exhibit B: Janet Jackson (see also eating disorders, normally not found in women of color)
Exhibit C: Latoya Jackson
This is why I'm waiting for the Latinos to take over. They might have their own icky color issues, but at least they're different icky color issues.
I'll be sure to post that 10,000 word history on slavery before I opine next time. Sheesh.
I think 10,000 words of your writing would be banned under several diplomatic treaties.
Wait, how many times would you use "shakedown", "shuck" and "jivers"?
Christ, I've had more intelligent conversations with AIMbots. . .
DAMMIT! I'll never get enough points to get that fist Afro Pick.
The real bloody irony is that I don't even LIKE peanut butter (see sisters/good hair paragraph)!!!
You dishonor George Washington Carver!
And you dishonor the hair by not growing dreads like me and Karen!
I'm visualizing the warbloggers taking the bait here and reading a whole bunch about "dishonoring GW Carver, and, well, hair." You know it's probably going to happen.
I think they grew bored with the level of discourse, and left.
Or they don't understand a word, and their Google-Fu is too weak to look anything up.
Either way works for me.
Or they just got bored by a racist who thinks (obscure references)*(liberal profanity) = righteousness.
You forgot part of the equation there, sweetie.
(obscure references + actual research)*(liberal profanity) = righteousness.
See? Now the equation works!
isn't it more appropriately self-righteousness? I would actually like being called self-righteous actually. I'm not sure what's wrong with it.
or do they mean sanctimonious. I'm not sure if that's a taunt or an insult or not but when you use it it sounds good. You Sanctimonious race-baiter! You Self-Righteous, Sanctimonious, Obscure brain scrambler of dark skin and dirty kinked hair! Those are not prejudiced assumptions but point of fact! I would not know such things could be hurled at you except that you let me know you are a negro! I hate the fact that you are so sanctimonious to use negro when I'm not sure whether or not I'm allowed to use the term! Allowed or not allowed by whom, I do not know, but I know its politically incorrect! At least I think it is! Its hard for me to figure out things when I have to consider others! Ow! Where is my percoset? Racist Uppity Aaron! I use your given name because I don't want to be accused of racism by saying nigger, I mean negr-, I mean...ow...
sorry, virtual head exploded.
What cracks me up is the inherent hypocrisy of saying, "We're tired of you" in a comment on someone's site.
If you were really tired of them, you wouldn't have read the entry and the comments in the first place. You'd be doing something else.
Jason, that should go on the side of a Dr. Bronner's soap bottle. Brilliant.
I'm starting to read this thing religiously, and its a damn fine blog. I've found some great sites through the links as well. VASpider nails it with the (obscure references + actual research) comment. I wasn't saying that I'm bored, just speculating on why the warbloggers don't come here much. Best guess is that the subjects are foreign and the tone is hostile. How do you even try to ask someone something when they've already told you to shut the fuck up? No, I didn't major in African-American cultural studies, does that mean I need to shut up and write a check? Doesn't matter that my ancestors came here after slavery? Ok then.
heh heh heh...if you want to ask questions, you're supposed to visit me. I'm the nice one.
d smith, you're suggesting that people called warbloggers avoid this place because the tone is hostile?
Pussies.
Informed debate is welcome. I'm beginning to think that everyone who wanders in feels the need to call me racist, and am beginning to get used to it. Jason, the so-called nice one, has been known to say "fuckin' crackers" much more often than I do.
And I'm still going to get killed first. How the fuck does that work?
Dreads, schmeads! I've had braids -- that I braided myself! -- in my head for the last month and a half!
I've seen too many case studies in real life of people being utterly destroyed by Everquest and what not which is more indicative of the psychological makeup of people playing them. I agree. it is true
Ok. This is just weird. The above post is extracted from an entry on my site. I'm not happy about this. Not a very bright spammer in any case. Just keep that pcanywhere port open long enough and justice will be served:
Interesting ports on haw-207-182-248-48.vel.net (207.182.248.48):
(The 1585 ports scanned but not shown below are in state: filtered)
Port State Service
21/tcp open ftp
25/tcp open smtp
43/tcp closed whois
53/tcp closed domain
80/tcp open http
110/tcp closed pop-3
119/tcp closed nntp
143/tcp closed imap2
389/tcp closed ldap
443/tcp open https
1433/tcp open ms-sql-s
3006/tcp closed deslogind
3306/tcp open mysql
5631/tcp open pcanywheredata
5632/tcp closed pcanywherestat
31337/tcp closed Elite
Nmap run completed -- 1 IP address (1 host up) scanned in 202 seconds
goneaway@rodan:~$
wh-wh-whaaat??
who let willow in here?
this reminds me of an hour and a half phone conversation i had with a university IT person last night (1/2 hour past my should-gone-home-time) in which he shepherded me around in "regedit" and i felt like i was getting a tour of the basement rooms of the louvre where they keep the cuneiform tablets...i think my brain is melting.
well the sad thing about the whole light skin vs. dark skin issue is a lot of people still have that metality that lighter is better some people still have that paper bag test metality in their heads and studies have showed still today in our society whites feel more comfortable around light brown skin to fair skin blacks even though it might not be as obvious as it was back in the day some same beliefs is still strongly believed in today by both blacks and whites