Music and lyrics by Lisa Germano.
A baseball bat, a baseball bat beside my bed
I'll wait around and wait around, and wait
I hear a noise, I hear a noise, well I hear something
I am alone, you win again, I'm paralyzed
I drift away, I'll drift away, am I asleep yet
I hear a scream, I see me scream, is it from memory
Am I awake, am I alone, when it is sunrise
A baseball bat, a thing of mace
That thing of mace, the thing of mace, where did I leave it
A psychopath, a psychopath, he says he loves me
And I'm alone, and I am cold and paralyzed, I can't move
Should I reassure Oliver that his friends and family are much more likely to be killed by friends and family than by psycho sniper guy? Or will this not help so much?
Wait, I tell a lie. According to Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Characteristics:
Males were more likely to be victimized by a stranger, and females were more likely to be violently victimized by a friend, an acquaintance, or an intimate.[. . .] Family members were most likely to murder a young child -- About one in five child murders was committed by a family member -- while a friend or acquaintance was most likely to murder an older child age 15 to 17.
[. . .] For murder victims, 45% were related to or acquainted with their assailants; 15% of victims were murdered by strangers, while almost 40% of victims had an unknown relationship to their murderer.
Depends on age and gender. Who'd have thought it?
Not Jason's fault, I should have known better than to hit the link to. . . dear god, he's declared himself a pundit. Jason, could you include a small warning next time, in case I take the stupid pills again?
Right, I should express some controversial opinion like the real bloggers do. Um. Killing other people is Bad. When it's random and well-publicized, anyway.
...and he even knows Lisa Germano's stuff.
Count me as officially smitten.
It's true.
He didn't believe me when I told him what you said about him after we dropped him off at his car, though. He's bad at taking compliments.
Make Sofia sit on him so he'll hold still, then tell him yourself.
isn't Aaron just adorable? he is.
See, kd, this is why you're not getting my other AIM screen name. Unless you're sober, in which case I'm not sure I want you to have the public one either.
Besides, "Aaron Hawkins" is just a pseudonym used for this site.
I'm actually Heather.
I'm really glad to hear that, Aaron, because I always wanted deadlocks, but they look terrribly stupid on dego-wop girls and much, much better on you.
Works for me. Guess that means you're cooking on Monday then, eh? Sweet.
I don't know, some of the women who work at the Wedge manage to pull of the dreads. It's an attitude thing. And making sure they don't just look like a bird's nest on top of your head. Like my new growth is these days.
If I'm cooking, it's microwave samosas and vodka cranberries for dinner. Not even good vodka, and possibly apple-cranberry blend.
I'll pony up for a bottle of Absolut as long as I get the video of what happens after. And you should be warned, Aaron, that Heather can drink you under the table.
Bleh. You're not allowed to be me, then.
And if it's an attitude thing, I didn't have it, and I have to confess, I think most white people just look terribly silly with dreads.
I'm not the only one who thinks so. The year I tried it in high school, the walk home from the El up Howard street, which was then a very Jamaican neighborhood, was the Walk of Shame. Never in my life have I had so many cute men laugh at me for all the wrong reasons.
Hanne, I'm cross-referenced under "lightweight" in the encyclopedia, so you're not saying much.
Heather, we'll be spending part of the evening looking at high school photos, then.
You can say these things. If I made a similar comment, someone would go all Angry Asian Man and tell me That's racist!
What if I tried to pass Whole Foods' samosas off as homemade? They're usually good. Not as good as the ones Neeta's mom made, but I don't think she'd appreciate me asking for some. . .