Well, actually uppity-shinob is the law. . .
That's precisely the sort of in-joke that keeps most visitors from posting here, or even understanding most of the site. Darn shame there's no way to look this stuff up if you're truly interested.
There's also the question of unwritten rules.
Well, there's just the one rule, really. It applies in no other situations, so I can understand how people could be confused.
Don't be an asshole.
Clearly, this doesn't apply to me. I am, after all, a Black militant, violently misogynist, homophobic, anti-Semetic and prejudiced against all white people. Including some of my relatives.
No, this applies only to people posting comments. And it translates, in my effed-up moral universe, to "don't piss off the webmaster."
With exceptions, of course. After all, Laura once said,
OK, you have certainly blown your cover. You are definitely a dyke from 1989.
And I didn't immediately have her killed.
But only because she didn't suggest I also played softball and had a mullet.
Not that I know anything about such matters. I'm able, in a limited way, to pass myself off as a novice/poseur/former member of the scene who dropped out years ago/baby dyke first night at the club only because I know just enough about various subcultures to sound like I vaguely know what I'm talking about. Any actual Linux users/SF fans/comics readers/goths/feminists/Buddhists/smarks recognize instantly that I'm talking out of my ass whenever I go into the slightest bit of detail. Because I get the details very, very wrong.
That's why you've got extremely superficial entries and long, detailed discussions, where I sit back and take notes from the people who actually know what they're talking about.
I'm also not emotionally invested in most of the issues to have taken sides. Except regarding Black militancy, where I follow the standard party line of the Democrats, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the Nation of Islam. Because, as we all know, these four agree on all the issues.
And Louis Farrakhan is a known Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. There's an article on WHEDONesque about him appearing in an upcoming episode, as a calypso singer turned demon.
You should have seen how wide A.'s eyes got when I read that last sentence aloud to her. Anime-style, I mean.
Wish I could see people's reactions to these things.
I forgot about sarcasm not working well in a textual medium. If this rumor starts making the rounds, I'm going to be. . . well, amused, but I'll make a convincing show of being horrified.
So it would be really wrong of me to try and spread it, right?
VASpider, see, I just pretend to be evil. . .
If the Nation of Islam traces the story back and declares a fatwah, I'm hiding out at your place.
Which notion I probably shouldn't announce publicly.
You know, if I could watch Buffy with Farrakhan, that'd probably actually get me to watch it. Especially if I could share some popcorn with him, or maybe we could split a Yoo-Hoo.
I wonder how he feels about Spike?
Is it sad that I enjoy the sylverster stallone movie? I mean it's all kinds of bad, it even features Rob Schneider in a prominent role but, you know, I'm a sucker for films in which the future looks like Blade Runner. Fifth Element, Total Recall, Back to the Future Pt. II...you know.
I heard Mr. Farrakhan was going to be dragged from pylea by the powers that be to replace Lorne as Angel's Negro Tour Guide. So He would be a Calypso Demon, in fact and not a Calypso singer.
Or is that a Calypso singer who happens to be a demon?
I don't want to appear to be prejudiced against demons by noticing their evilness first.
I really can spell sylvester. It's just way early and I slept on the floor with my glasses on. They are foggy. Or greasy. Something.
irony of ironies, Jason...I was just going to post that I happened to watch buffy for the first time last night. I was about to go to sleep when it came on TV, so I laid down on the floor to watch it...
...and promptly fell asleep. Now my neck hurts.
Dyke from 1989?! Yoon and I have tossed around the idea that you are actually a unicorn. That is why you are on our shortlist of people to kidnap and relocate to Denver. This may or may not have anything to do with the legendary properties of the unicorn horn. Confusion is a powerful weapon and a great party favor.
Grrrr.
Unico Adoption Agency
It's okay, Aaron. You wouldn't be the first person to hide out at our place, though the Nation of Islam as the seekers in question would definitely be a first. We've got an extra couch. You just have to not mind a toddler who thinks adults are mobile jungle gyms and three female cats.
VASpider, that's all right, then. I'm sure I can cover the "cat slave" tattoo on my forehead with some foundation or something.
Does the toddler mind if you keep reading while being climbed all over? Know cats tend to get annoyed when you aren't openly acknowledging their Center of the Universiness.
Yep, that's the pre-coffee vocabulary. . .
Dru, you fell asleep during Buffy?
Was Riley in that episode?
Jason, you've seen Akira, yes?
I shall now reply to everything with "KANADA!" for the rest of the day.
TETSUO!!!!!!!
You'll love our cats, then. They'll actively make you their bitch. Well, okay. Siv will, but what can you expect from a cat named after the wife of Thor?
For a little while, he's okay with being ignored. Then, if you're not reading to him, he'll either stand in front of you and informatively yell, "CAT!" at you until you pay attention to him, or he'll helpfully close your book for you.
VASpider, when you put it that way, guess the Nation wouldn't go all Catholic and torture me first so I recant my heresy. Nah, simple old-school execution seems like their style. Y'know, like with Malcolm X.
Ok, they might ask me to take back that one.
I have found out covering the tattoo doesn't work. Laser surgery, maybe?
Just give in, Aaron. You know you want to.
Besides, kitties like chewing on dreads. We think it's thoughtful of you to grow a headful of cat toys just for us.
Wet dreads hold far more water than you would think.
A flick of the head can release a torrent in a particular direction.
Just a thought, aquaphobic one.
I sat on my mom's shoulders and chest while she took a bath and I played with the water that dripped from the sink faucet. I am overcoming my fear of water.
Bring it on, biped. Bring it on.
I will not be mocked by kittens on my own web site.
And I did not just write that sentence.
If I had, I'd note that kittens should not be using html in comments if they're going to try closing a <b> with a </i>.
You may be MBA material after all.
Mmm. Siv loves anything chewable -- she's also the only cat I've ever known who watches you dangle a toy at her for a second or two and then attacks your hand -- and Nephthys fears not the water. It'd be hours of cat enjoyment as they fought one another over the right to try to chew on Aaron's head!
Vashti... Vashti's just stupid.
Er, do I get any say in any of this? No? Oh, ok, just checking. . .
I like Vashti best already. Often feel like the dumbest person in the room around here, so it'd be nice to have someone to talk to at my level.
I actually think Nephthys is the nicest of our cats. She's definitely the only cat I've ever known who comes when she's called by her mom (Fox), and she's the chill-by your-feet cat. Siv chills by your feet until she decides they're evil instruments of doom and destruction and must die.
Vashti. Well. Yeah, she's just plain dumb, even for a kitten. She sleeps by Fox's computer power cords. Why? We don't know.
P.S. No. You get no say. The tattoo says all.
Aaron, I will not have people I respect making snide comments about their own intelligence!! You're smart enough to challenge us, and that's why we're here.
(Right. Sorry. Mediterranean Mommy rant over. Right. Set out Mother Hen for foxes to eat. Good. Right. Sorry.)
Besides, we're *all* dumber than the aforementioned cats. They get to laze about and live off of our labor, and we love them for it?? Doesn't bode well for our intellects, hm?
Oh, sorry, Rita. *skritch*
VASpider, my sister's cat Greebo (says it all, don't it?) used to nibble on power cords, so I think he beats out Vashti.
Affectionate, though. He would leap into your arms. While you were standing up. By getting a running start and climbing.
garrity, I know formal education ain't everything, but knowing how many folks here have or are in the process of getting rather impressive initials after their names convinces me to keep schtum when discussions get too detailed. Trust me, they're better that way.
Intials after our names don't make us smart. They make us the bitches of the system.
I can't count the number of times I've swallowed my pride, my politics,and my personality, only to be rewarded with a job that doesn't provide a living wage -- and all becasue I want to educate and to learn. Those goals CAN be pursued extra-systemally -- you know, like by reading really brilliant web pundits and talking with them -- but here I sit, the system's bitch, because I'm neither strong nor smart nor brave enough to break out.
Don't get so down on yourself.
Aaron, Siv's nickname is Greebo, so, yes, I think that just about says it all. Vashti chews on power cords occasionally, but usually she just sleeps on them. So, Greebo may be stupider, if only by dint of repetition.
garrity, I fluctuate between down on myself and intolerably arrogant. Give it a day or two. You'll be telling me I'm full of shit and need to give it a rest.
And you do have responsibilities, after all. The cat has to be fed.
Well, and the kid too, if there's any money left over.
VASpider, I think naming or even nicknaming a cat Greebo is just inviting disaster. And am oddly worried it's not necessary to explain the reference to anyone here.
Of course I know who Greebo is! In only a mere forty years, Neo and I will assume our proper places and the REAL Granny W. and Nanny O., respectively.