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Attention conservation notice

Old white guy expresses disgust with nigger/jungle/black music. You can dig up a comparable article about blues, or jazz, or R&B, or rock, and with a quick global search and replace get the exact same column. If it weren't for the contemporary reference to the snipers, I'd swear that's what Bob Levey did with this:

If you're new to this column, you've missed my many rants about this form of musical expression. My major complaint: It isn't music. My second: It isn't expression. My third: It's amazingly vulgar. Not to mention juvenile, sexist and misogynistic.

Rap is a litany of half-formed thoughts, laid over half-formed percussion. You can't hum it or dance to it. Half the time, you can't understand it.

In 20 years, do you think there'll be a radio format called Golden Oldie Rap of the '80s and '90s? No chance, because the stuff isn't singable or memorable.

No sense mentioning that classic rap shows already exist, I suppose. Why let facts get in the way.

He works for the Washington Post. I expect he has many black friends who work there. Might surprise them to find out they're his friends, true. . .

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I would quote bob dylan, but "mr. Levey" has too many syllables.

Just like I told you, you must learn

It's calm yet wild the style that I speak
Just filled with facts and you will never get weak in the heart
In fact you'll start to illuminate, knowledge to others in a song
Let me demonstrate the force of knowledge,
knowledge reigned supreme
The ignorant is ripped to smithereens
What do you mean when you say I'm rebellious
'Cause I don't accept everything that you're telling us
What are you selling us the creator dwellin' us
I sit in your unknown class while you're failing' us
I failed your class 'cause I ain't with your reasoning
You're tryin' make me you by seasoning
Up my mind with see Jane run, see John walk in a hardcore New York
It doesn't exist no way, no how
It seems to me that in a school that's ebony
African history should be pumped up steadily, but it's not
and this has got to stop, See Spot run, run get Spot
Insulting to a Black mentality, a Black way of life
Or a jet Black family, so I include with one concern, that
You must learn

Chorus: Just like I told you, you must learn (twice)

I believe that if you're teaching history
Filled with straight up facts no mystery
Teach the student what needs to be taught
'Cause Black and White kids both take shorts
When one doesn't know about the other ones' culture
Ignorance swoops down like a vulture
'Cause you don't know that you ain't just a janitor
No one told you about Benjamin Banneker
A brilliant Black man that invented the almanac
Can't you see where KRS is coming at
With Elie Whitney, Holly Selosy, Grand Bill Woods
made the walky-talky
Lewis Latterman improved on Edison
Charles Drew did a lot for medicine
Garrett Morgan made the traffic lights
Harriet Tubman freed the slaves at night
Madame CJ Walker made a straightin' comb
But you won't know this is you weren't shown
The point I'm gettin' at it it might be harsh
'Cause we're just walkin' around brainwashed
So what I'm sayin' is not to diss a man
we need the 89 school system
One that caters to a Black return because
You must learn

Boogie Down Productions, You Must Learn

Bob Levey doesn't want to mess with me today, I've got Obie Trice lyrics running through my head (real names, no gimmicks)

Um, the same rules apply to Led Zeppelin, and the Ramones. Pretty much icons of white rock music where I grew up. So what was his point again?

Just today I was listening to the radio wishing there was a calssic rap station, as I was driving along listening to WBGO (the local Jazz station).

"that's not music! that's just hippies screaming about haircuts" -- my parents, circa 1970, when they caught me listening to KFRC (which was, at the time, a pop station).

the old white contingent hasn't changed their tune at all, have they?

fuck. If BDP isn't classic, I don't know what is.

I guess the difference is that the issues rapped about haven't actually gone away, so it's difficult to feel "nostalgic" about it, exactly.

Or something...maybe?

The thing that truly offends me is that the very same people who whine about the misogyny in hiphop would be screeching about pc if anyone complained about the misogyny in Balzac. It's as if hiphop is the only artistic form that one is allowed to evaluate by feminist ideals.

And I'm curious as to how Levy ascertained that hiphop was undanceable. I sense a projection of his own ignominious shame at being incapable of doing the Harlem Shake.

ps. The Remember info checkbox seems to be discriminating against me, I always have to reenter the info.

Heh, drapetomaniac, I can hear the conversation in the Levey household in the basement at the weekly poker game...

"Now be sure I'm no feminist, those ladies just need to get laid, but I was listening to that new Snoop Dogg today and well, damnit, there's only so many times I'm going to let you call my bitches 'Hos' on record."

Yeah, I'm sure that's how it goes.

Every time I see someone run rap down like this, I think back to the first time I heard "Triumph." The line "my pen blows lines ferocious" made me rethink everything I'd ever heard and read of rap. It's poetry. Pick an adjective to toss in front of it (gritty, urban, ghetto, you know you want to), but it's still poetry.

You're right, you know. You can find this same sentiment published thousands of times in the last fifty years. Don't we have more important things to be discussing than personal taste? Do we have to try to play six degrees of the big current news event? Can I hit Levey with a stick?

It might not help, but it would make me feel better.

When Puccini's La Bohème premiered in the United States in 1900 at the Metropolitan Opera, the New York Tribune's (unnamed) critic complained that “La Bohème is foul in subject and fulminant in its music.”

I always bring that up whenever any self-appointed musical pundit decides s/he needs to inform me just how morally and musically bankrupt rap is.

Plus ça change ...

No one riots at the premieres of compositions for orchestra anymore. And from the contemporary pieces I've heard, that must be the desired effect. They couldn't possibly expect anyone to actually enjoy the things. . .

Monkey, violence is not the answer.

But if it'll make you feel better, go for it.

Bah, most of the jammin modern symphonics are composed for movies. Not that I think that's a waste or anything. I'm all for movies.

Then again, I guess it depends on your definition of modern.

Oh yes. I forgot.

Mmm, stick.

Anyone seen The Boondocks today?

people said stravinsky wasn't music either, once upon a time...but others have made this same point much more eloquently here already.

since time immemorial conquerors have subjugated the societies they invaded by trying to extinguish or subsume their culture; europeans on this continent have been trying to silence the music of those they kidnapped and brought here from the beginning. it's a gesture of fear. some people claiming to be intellectual don't actually like thoughts that came from outside their own heads. the only antidote is to "pump up the volume" and rakim would say.

Michelle, every day the good Lord brings.

Think McGruder said in an interview that he doesn't care for most (popular, gets-radio-play) hip-hop these days, but he has an informed opinion. Counts for a lot, that does.

Jim, fear is our ally.

You see in the 80 rap music was made but the blacks made rap their not trying to go against them so they made the harlem shake for a dance beat any music lil bow wow does it and lil romeo are to african american do it.

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