This grew out of a reply to something Neo said on her LiveJournal, but I realized it was getting way far afield, and probably wasn't gonna go over too well.
So, it goes here, where everything is far afield, and I don't have to give a flying fuck how it goes over.
Short version, she mentioned a review of The L Word over at AfterEllen.com, which said in part:
The L Word has also given voice to something that the straight world may not be aware of. My friend Cynthia explained, “What really turned me on about this show is [that]…of the friendship group and the scenes where it’s the core characters, it’s all gay. I’ve had straight people in the office…[who] didn’t believe that I could have an entirely dyke universe.”
Which led to a discussion of the desirability of such a thing. More or less. Like I said, I'm going afie-- fuckit, the point is, I read this as having a space where the consensus reality is different from your mainstream, het, white, middle-class boring bullshit that takes up most of the space in the media (and politics, and pretty much everything else) in this country.
And, you know, I think that's a good thing. Not as a constant, obviously -- I don't think there's anything more damaging to a healthy psyche than spending all your time with like-minded people -- but sometimes it's nice to not have to justify things, or explain them, to folks who might mean well, but at a certain level Just Don't Get It.
An example: back when that wretched fucking Joe Boxer discussion was going on, a white acquaintance decided to speculate as to what was wrong with George and Jason and, by extension, me, for having a few issues with the thing.
What I should have said was, "Cracka, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, shut the fuck up."
Instead, I smiled and nodded.
Zero Four, I've decided, is the year of no longer smiling and nodding.
Another example: Based on my dealings with the guy, I think Grey Miller of Madison, Wisconsin, is a racist, arrogant prick. Any people of color who know him and disagree with this opinion, feel free to try to convince me that I'm wrong.
White folks can sit this one out, as they have nothing worthwhile to contribute to the discussion.
Let me rephrase that: when it comes to discussing whether a particular person or statement or, say, mock propaganda poster is racist, although you may be well-meaning, know lots of black people, blah de fucking blah, since you don't have to experience this every day the good lord sends, cracka, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, shut the fuck up.
Another example: it's never even crossed my mind when someone talks about expereincing sexism or homophobia to explain to that person, slowly, and using very small words, and making sure to use their name in every other sentence, that what happened wasn't really sexism/homophobia/discrimination. Not having dealt with these my own self, I don't think I can examine the situation objectively and offer a unique perspective that those who do are incapable of seeing. I figure I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, and shut the fuck up.
There's no shame in not knowing what the fuck you're talking about. Just in not realizing that you don't, and not shutting the fuck up.
Am I. . . am I getting through to you at all here?
Yes, I know people who expereince these things. Yes, I've sometimes been with them when one or another form of discrimination takes place. Yes, I get pissed about that shit. But, not expereincing it myself, I realize that at a certain level I Just Don't Get It, and never will. I can try to draw comparisons to my own expereinces, but those ain't gonna be exact.
And again I sez, fuckit. I don't think I can explain this any better, but if you're still confused, try asking for clarification. Politely. If you're just pissed off about what you just read and need to vent, this ain't the place, and I ain't the one. So if you ever want to post here again, take a deep breath, count back from ten, and shut the fuck up.