Right then, after a few nights of actual sleep and probably thinking about it entirely too much, I'd like to apologize to Chris and Dan for going off on 'em a few days ago. If you guys want to post here, feel free, but please keep in mind those etiquette suggestions from a few days ago. Chris, it should go without saying that your old nickname? Not acceptable.
Which is the entire problem, really. I keep thinking some things go without saying, and folks keep proving that, no, there must be the saying.
I don't think there should have to be the saying.
Meaning, there won't be. There will just be the deleting if need be.
Not thrilled with creating an environment so exclusive that I wouldn't be allowed in if I hadn't created it. Mainly because the concept gives me a headache. And also, because I did notice that the three people I've unceremoniously kicked out -- I'm including Darren Madigan here -- were all white guys. Add that to how several of us went out of our way trying to explain to Aussie Girl why she was crossing the line, and, well, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this. But I ain't liking it.
So, short version, anyone can post here, as long as you're doing that "worthwhile contribution to the conversation" thang.
If you're wondering how to determine whether or not something represents a worthwhile contribution in my opinion, that's dead simple. Read the other comments. If, on preview, yours jumps out like a sore thumb, that's a good indication that you maybe don't want to hit the post button.
And yes, some of the regulars violate them etiquette suggestions. You're right, I am hypocritical, play favorites and am generally not a nice person. Which begs the question as to why you'd want to post on the web site of such a person. That's right, you wouldn't. Buh-bye.
Not np, because I don't have the cd with me: Nutopia, Meg Lee Chin, Piece and Love
Was that too bitchy?
You're running into a normal problem here: acceptable behavior in a small group is less acceptable in a large group.
When it's you and your three buddies, you can say all kinds of things. Because you all know each other, it's unlikely that you'll take too much offense. But when a stranger comes in and treats you the way your intimates do, you (not unreasonably) take offense at the unwarranted intimacy.
This is one of the reasons gated communities with filtering like LiveJournal still have value even though your blog is your own turf in a way that a hosted service like LJ can never be. You can go back to a small group and talk smack without worrying about some outsider reading it and misinterpreting your meaning or deciding that he or she can talk smack back at you.
There's a great Clay Shirky essay that talks about the internet breaking down semiprivate zones of communication that I should find and send you. I'm currently thinking about the same problem in terms of online (email) RPGs, so the topic has been on my mind of late.
Ginger, the funny thing is, Chris and Dan are RL friends.
Ok, maybe not so funny.
Only common factor with the three of 'em -- other than demographics -- is I felt like I had to use every euphemism in the book trying to say, "Please don't be an asshole."
Because no conversation in the history of humanity that includes that sentence has ever ended well.
I'd like to see that essay if you find it. And have a nasty feeling this site is going to end up being my thesis topic. . .
Aha! That frames the problem slightly differently. It's still pretty normal, though--I have RL friends and online friends that I wouldn't put in a chat room together. If the tone of the community here is different from the tone of the RL community you share, there will inevitably be normative issues somewhere.
I understand your unease about the common demographic issue, too. Sometimes I'm bugged about excluding men from all-female groups I'm part of.
I was wrong, btw: the piece I was looking for wasn't Shirky--it was Danny O'Brien: http://www.oblomovka.com/entries/2003/10/13#1066058820
Seems perfectly reasonbale to me that a space which is private in that you're paying for it should be regulated by your feelings -- even if they're whim.
Especially since you're willing to note that it ain't about some series of rules, it's about whether something strikes YOU as ok or not.
Not like this is the senate floor, or anything . . .
i feel my access here is a privilege, not a right. the only people who feel they have an inalienable right to all areas of conversation are trolls and crackers [hm, interesting epithet, that].
a comparison i find interesting is between this site and one or two "right-wing" places i've lurked at. when i made comments that annoyed you, for example, you sent me a personal email very politely telling me so; when i made comments that annoyed them, they swarmed over my comments area with public insults [if you can call three or four people a 'swarm']. since then it's unusual for me to post my URL at those places, and i usually make up a fake handle like "pink_diaper@lefty.org" or something. i think your boundaries are reasonable ones, and i don't think anyone could ever rightly accuse you of not having a sense of humor. it just isn't for the faint of heart.
I think I accidentally ran across darrin madigan's site the other day, and he's evidently busy stalking his ex-girlfriend who was never his girlfriend in the first place, but a married woman who he was friends with and who ended the friendship when he wouldn't stop trying to get her to be his girlfriend.
Or something convoluted like that.
Of course, to him (if it was even darren. I know it was one of the weird trolls who posted here, though) she was just not being honest with herself about their fated connection or whatever.
It was tragic. Sometimes I just have to pretend like some people are fictional characters...
Dru, you mean people on the internet aren't fictional characters?
You're blowing my mind right now.
...of course, you knew that I will be playing that song on Thurs. in class, right? & that I was writing the powerpoint this evening? Because, you know, it's the perfect transition from the Beats ("Howl") to Gen X ("Nutopia").
That's me, Jason. I live to blow people's minds.
Neo, remember you mentioning that when I visited last month, but didn't realize you were doing it this week. Stupid chaos magic synchronicity, anyway.
Dru, I think we've gone over this before.
Wow, Aaron. I guess this officially means that we go "way back." or something.