It reminds me of a joke. See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum . . .
And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight . . . Stretching away to freedom.
Now the first guy, he jumps straight across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren't make the leap. Y'see . . . Y'see, he's afraid of falling.
So then the first guy has an idea . . . He says, hey! I have my flashlight with me. I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me! B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh- says . . . He says, Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy?
You'd turn it off when I was halfway across!
More of The Killing Joke. Thought it was appropriate, given what's going on in the other comment threads right now.
The other option, of course, was:
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This. . . is my BOOM-stick! It's a twelve gauge double barreled Remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart. Ya got that? Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me. . .
Oh, you've heard this one before, too. . .