Well, that was fun. And almost enough to convince me to learn to write regular expressions.
And that was just the first "You gotta be fuckin' kidding" moment of the evening. From Sisyphus Shrugged:
Texas comptroller decrees narrow definition of godUnitarian Universalists have for decades presided over births, marriages and memorials. The church operates in every state, with more than 5,000 members in Texas alone.
But according to the office of Texas Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn, a Denison Unitarian church isn't really a religious organization -- at least for tax purposes. Its reasoning: the organization "does not have one system of belief."
Uh-huh.
Unlike the rigorous, internally-consistent other religions out there.
Also ran across some hideously homophobic commentary I'm not even bothering to link to, because those idiots always decide to come back here.
And I really ain't in a welcoming mood right now.
Sitting at the Heartland Cafe, abusing the free WiFi again. I really should be using it to read something intelligent or interesting instead.
Update: But instead, I find a non-registration link to the story.
Bradenton.com: Texas official says Unitarian church not a tax-exempt religion:
But the denials of the Red River Unitarian Universalist Church in Denison, the North Texas Church of Freethought in Carrollton, and an earlier denial by Sharp for the Ethical Culture Fellowship of Austin, were ordered because the organizations did not mandate belief in a supreme being.The disputed tax dollars don't amount to much, but the comptroller has taken a stand on principle, Ancira said.
"The issue as a whole is, Do you want to open up a system where there can be abuse or fraud, or where any group can proclaim itself to be a religious organization and take advantage of the exception?" he said.
Those who oppose the comptroller's "God, gods or supreme being" test say that it can discriminate against legitimate faiths. For example, applying that standard could disqualify Buddhism because it does not mandate belief in a supreme being, critics say.
Snarkiness fails me.
D'you think Mexico would take it back?
Since, you know, we'd be including the residents?
Hey, watch what you say about my home state. Molly Ivins and Jim Hightower and I might have to come over there and open up a can of whup-ass.
Strayhorn (or Keeton, or Rylander, or Taylor Fisher Burton or whatever her name is this year--she's an argument for not changing your name when you get hitched, for damn sure) is showboating for a gubernatorial (or lite-gubernatorial, which is a better office, but pays less) run in 2006. She's been at the throat of Governor Rick "Goodhair" Perry for some time, hoping to make him non-viable in 2006, as if calling a special session to fix the schools and failing utterly AFTER all the other special sessions he called last year wasn't driving the stake far enough into his flinty little heart on its own. There's also speculation that Kay Bailey Hutchinson, our senior senator, may come home and run for governor, and there may be a massive switcheroo of senior offices statewide. Everything Strayhorn is doing right now is done with one eye on the prizes available in 2006; she's playing to her base.
Having said that, I will now add something that will prevent me from ever getting elected dogcatcher, much less anything meaningful: it's precisely because it requires governments to determine what a religion is that tax-exemption violates the First Amendment.
Once I was driving around Austin (well, I was in a car, I can't actually drive) and I saw a big white SUV with a Rylander campaign sticker, back when she still went by Rylander. "What kind of person puts one of those on their car?" I asked my companion--I think it was my sister. Then the SUV turned and I saw the driver--it was Carol herself. A couple years later, I was in a car driving around closer to the lege when again I saw the a white SUV, now with a Carol Keeton STRAYHORN sticker. I checked and it was her again. In a state capitol where political stickers on cars abound, those two occasions are the only time I've seen hers.
Back when she ran for railroad commissioner or something like that, her slogan was "She's one tough grandma." Ick!
I prefer my grandmas tender...with steak sauce.
Remember, you are what you eat. Good thing the comprtroller is hard to swallow.
Stating that Unitarians aren't members of a religion is just strange...especially in light of the decision by the IRS that Scientology is a religion for tax purposes -- though some have called it a cult or a purely money-making venture.