"I associate [negative attributes x] with [group y]. You, a member of [group y], lack [negative atttributes x] and/or possess [possitive attributes z]. So, you aren't really a member of [group y]!"
Needs work, I think. Includes <sneer quotes>straight-acting</sneer quotes> gay men, femmes, Negroes unlike those Bill Cosby described a few days back, Christians (why yes, I have caught myself on the brink of saying something as appalling stupid as, "I didn't think you were a Christian, you're so open-minded and intelligent!"), probably other people/situations that are slipping my sievelike mind at the moment. . .
Further to the Cos tip, the thing about that, or similar/comparable statements by Chris Rock, is that the speaker and (Negro) audience realize perfectly well that the statements don't apply to all Negroes. The white conservatives who jump on the stuff, more often than not in my experience, don't.
This often leads to the fun-filled interaction where one of 'em treats me like I am one of those people. And, upon realizing their mistake,then make matters oh so much worse by attempting to bond over the incident.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were one of those people."
How the fuck are you supposed to respond to that? I mean, I know, by then going off on a rant about those people and allowing the bonding experience. Because, really, bonding with racist fuckheads is always the high point of a day.
Anyway, any suggestions? Questions? Comments?
When I stand my ground, I get even more flack from some on both sides of the coin.
Probably the most maddening are the ones who want to pat me on the head like a "good lil' nig..."--well, you know what I mean. Of course, then I usually bite through their wrist, leaving them with a bloody stump behind; and a dumbfounded look on their face.
Then they actually do want to lump me in until they actually listen to what I'm saying. You wouldn't believe the number of otherwise closeminded folk I've won over that way.
As long as I don't get emotional over it --even with the knucle-draggers-- I can usually win out in the end.
My advice to you? Smile at 'em and them smack 'em with a two-by-four. It works for me.
Oh, whack then smile.
I had the order wrong.
Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
It's probably my ego and preoccupation talking, but I'm hearing the siren call of that Unhad Conversation again.
One of my tactics for dealing with people who say unacceptable things has been Don't Countenance That. Normally--but not always--I'm not in the discriminee position, just the appalled bystander position. "Don't say such things in front of me; it's wrong and I won't put up with it" can be a powerful statement, especially when followed up on appropriately.
Following up has the bonus of decreasing the amount of bad beer in your life, too.
I think this is where you stand about 6 inches behind your bodyguard, pull out a roll of bills and throw them in the face of the fuckwad in question.
Now everyone annunciate with me: STOOPID BIATCH!
im cranky today.
i gotta wonder, which black comedian has used the word nigger the most in his act?
Dave Chapelle sure seems to love it. I didnt mean to like Dave, but damn, that boy is funny.
In related news, when the Indians say silly things - I pretty well just raise an eyebrow to let them know i heard what they said and just let them keep talking. Its an age old traditional technique for dealing with goofy people - they usually stop talking to me, so i figger it works great.
The first 20 years of Richard Pryor's career was a love affair with "nigg*r." Dick Gregory as well if I'm not mistaken.
Paul Mooney ramped up his use of the word after Richard said he was going to stop using it.
For all the obsession with his differences between nigg*rs and black people bit, I don't think Chris Rock uses it excessively in his comedy.
And we haven't even talked about the Def Comedy Jam comics...
Aaron if you converted your formula to a Perl/PHP parsable regular expression you could pretty much make the PunditBot you've talked about before. Make a script, feed it an array of negative and positive adjectives and basic rules to accompany it, and latch the poor mindless beast onto Google News (or if you were lazy, Fox News since the sorting would be easy), and watch it climb up the Popdex rankings. Wm S. Burroughs would be proud.
If I was about 16 hours further into sleep deficit I might just hack this up and reup uppity-negropundit.com just to watch the heads spin.