KING: Why do you think it's been so hard, Clinton said it last night, to get Osama bin Laden?
STEWART: Oh, he's a shape shifter.
KING: He's a what?
STEWART: Like on Star Trek.
STEWART: Some days he's Osama bin Laden, other days he's a lamp. And here's the other thing, too, when you have a beard, you have so many more disguise options than most people. He can trim it, he can go with a van dyke. Nobody expects that from bin Laden.
Suppose the Trek gag gives me a perfect opportunity to say something about that Jack Ryan thing:
Beleaguered Republican U.S. Senate hopeful Jack Ryan ended his campaign Friday, leaving his party scrambling to find a replacement with enough money and magnetism to mount a serious challenge against Democratic candidate Barack Obama.
Ryan had been under attack by a wide range of party leaders for a lack of candor following the release this week of previously sealed records from his divorce from TV actress Jeri Ryan, giving rise to what one prominent Republican called "buyer's remorse."
The Trib used to be solidly Republican, too. Weird. Oh, and registration-required. Also, they do mention their role in all this, quoting Ryan bitching about 'em:
"The media has gotten out of control," Ryan complained. "The fact that the Chicago Tribune sues for access to sealed custody documents and then takes unto itself the right to publish details of a custody dispute over the objections of two parents who agree that the re-airing of their arguments will hurt their ability to co-parent their child and will hurt their child is truly outrageous."
You know, I'd almost feel sorry for the guy if he'd quit fucking using that slightly remixed "What about the children" line. And making this about "the media" rather than his own (alleged) behavior. And getting into a Senate race with that sort of dirty laundry. And. . .
Ok, no, I wouldn't feel sorry for him despite all that, because I remember the Clinton scandals, real and fabricated. I've seen the level of discourse in politics get dragged down to the level that I doubt anyone who isn't a total policy wonk could accurately describe either Bush or Kerry's stances on five given issues.
And yes, I blame the Republicans for this. Including the ones who ain't have nothing to do with it, because they obviously weren't so opposed that they either a) fought to prevent it from happening or b) left the party in disgust.
I'm strongly in favor of leaving in disgust these days.
This may be one of the reasons I temp.