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September 13, 2002
I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry. We'll just say where we are
Then go back to the car
We don't want to fuck Tim Curry.
Just the once, I swear. And I stayed to help clean the theater afterwards, because I felt guilty about the mess.
It's Jason's fault, he brought it up. Well, him and the person in Metafilter's discussion of the Am-I-Stoned-Or-Not Apple Switch ad, whose contribution was, "You better wise up, Ellen Feiss!"
It was worse when you weren't expecting it.
Anyway, Jason declares his independence from chains and pledges allegiance to independents. And I probably mixed those up. It's too late, though; I heard on Morning Edition that there are only 6 states that don't have at least one Starbuck's.
There were 7, but one just opened in Iowa City, Iowa.
And Minnesota just got a Hard Rock Café. Wow, it's almost like they're really part of a First World country. Soon, the Minnesotans might even learn how to drive automobiles.
Oh, and whoever stuck me on the list of Minnesota bloggers?
Do I sound like a fucking Minnesotan to you? The description negro is right in the site name, so I obviously don't look like a fucking Minnesotan. Yeah, the land where 'diversity' means 'not all the white people are blonde.' Fuck that noise. The only thing keeping me from killing you all with lightning from my eyes is that I don't have eyes that do that.
You maybe wanna rethink that.
'Lightning eyes' gag stolen from Toastyfrog Jump!. Go read the Ignorant White Guy Chronicles. You know you want to.
Of course the existence and popularity of KFC in Japan comes as no surprise to me, having seen the surreal Otomo satire sequence in Project A-Ko. What does take me aback was the fact that I have now encountered my second life-sized Santa Claus mannequin here in the space of about 14 hours - in this case, Colonel Sanders dressed as Santa. I'm surprised I've never seen one of these in the states, because it actually works pretty well, in an "unholy desecration" sort of way. Unfortunately for KFC, even this natty redeco of their mascot isn't sufficient to convince me to try to force feed myself their greasy, unpleasant fried chicken.
What? It's about his trip to visit his girlfriend in Japan over X-Mas. What did you think something called Ignorant White Guy Chronicles and linked from this site would be about?
No mother fucker, that wasn't a rhetorical question.
Posted by Aaron at September 13, 2002 08:56 AM
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